Wednesday, December 07, 2005

The Jonestown Blogos Fear

How does it feel to be a renter when the homeowners in your Sedona, Arizona neighborhood are enjoying double digit annual appreciation in their property value? How does your wife view your choice to rent because you insist there is an "impending housing crash?" Does she think you may be nuts? To prove you aren't nuts do you start a housing bubble blog? In case your wife logs on, do you delete any opinion that may dispute your housing crash dogma?

Monday, December 05, 2005

Desperate House Wife

Sexy blonde sells house -- and herself

WASHINGTON, Nov 4 (PG) - For sale: house in Denver, Colorado, 600,000 dollars -- complete with bride. Jewelry manufacturer Deborah Hale, the house's owner, announced on a website that she is putting her home up for sale on the Ebay online auction site with the twist that she comes with it. The shapely blonde, 48, says she wants to find a bidder, aged 40-60, to share the home with in a longterm relationship. On her website,, Hale said she bought and remodeled a 1910 bungalow in Denver, but was not satisfied living alone in it.

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Saturday Laughs

This story from the Washington Post is good for a few hearty bubble blog belly laughs:

The Post interviewed a Philadelphia resident who had been diagnosed with cancer and lacked health insurance. She fell behind on her house payments and had to foreclose. Another woman with a similar story approached her lender, who had already sold her debt to another credit agency. She attempted to file for bankruptcy but was denied, and currently contends with double payments because of late penalties. Most low-income homeowners across the country face comparable threats, lacking adequate health insurance. By one estimate, medical expenses are the primary cause of financial distress for 40 percent of those struggling to hold on to their homes.

What a bunch of losers! For more laughs visit the housing bubble Jonestown at

Los Angeles Home Sells

A reader submitted this unsourced story:

Shecky and Rebecca Wisenheimer awoke in their new Chatsworth home to the cheerful fragrance of fresh flowers and the sound of a distant train chugging along the track. “This ain’t exactly Folsom Prison” Shecky grinned as he handed his wife a tulip he had plucked from the Welcome Wagon basket which magically appeared on their front porch. The move from their Encino home of fifteen years was overdue. “The kids were grown and incarcerated. Who needed the extra rooms?” Shecky shrugged. Among those welcoming the Wisenheimer’s to their new neighborhood was Scheky’s mother Rose. “I’m gonna put a padlock on the icebox,"she said. “Look at that tuckas, will ya? He didn’t get that using the Stairmaster.” Shecky waved his mother off. “Living closer to her will be wonderful, but I gotta be honest, the money didn’t hurt. What’s not to like about $400,000 tax free semolions?” The Wisenheimers wish to thank Evan Williams for making the sales and moving process completely painless.

We have received these anecdotal fairytales before and suspect they are pure fiction, a product of the real estate conspiracy to dupe the American public. Besides, if true, the Wisenheimer's are in for a rough ride. Fires, earthquakes, landslides, the Manson Family legacy of depravity and a paucity of fine dining await them. Go to hell, Scheky!

Friday, December 02, 2005

Blog Virus Found In North Arizona

A deadly mutated strain of avian bird flu virus has been traced to a bubble blogger in northern Arizona. Early today the World Health Organization (WHO) issued a Level II warning: "The northern Arizona case may be isolated, however there is a very high probability it will spread quickly. The avian virus required minimal mutation to move from the domestic chicken population to the bubble blog. If the virus is spread via internet bubble blogs it could wipe out three to five million unhappy renters in a matter of hours." WHO's Zahn Furst, professor of animal husbandry, added this Level III.c Advisory: "It does not require a signifcant leap of faith to predict the virus will migrate from the bubble bloggers to their relatives, threatening the entire population of California lemmings. My wife does not agree, but she's a bitch. Literally."

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Bubble Blogger Mutual Funds?

Some of Wall Street's leading equity fund managers, including Vanguard, T.Rowe Price, and the American family of funds, have introduced a product which is designed to capitalize on the anticipated spending of millions of housing bubble bloggers who are growing increasingly impatient, anxious and desperate as their predicted crash in housing prices does not happen. The funds are known as Real Estate Anxiety Matrix (REAM) funds, and typically contain a diverse basket of equities which have been hammered by consumer optimism but are likely to rise on bubble blogger angst. Of course, we like the J.Mehoff Income-Inequity REAM . Among the top holdings of the Mehoff fund: Roche Laboratories (Valium), Eli-Lilly (Prozac), Astra-Zeneca (Prilosec), Johnson & Johnson (KY personal lubricant), Old Crow Distilleries (Old Crow), Home Depot (ladders, ropes), Gillette (single edged razor), Pep Boys (anti-freeze), Forest Lawn (real estate).

The Mehoff fund is a bit pricey, with a front end load of between 5% and 50%, depending on where you live.