Saturday, December 03, 2005

Los Angeles Home Sells

A reader submitted this unsourced story:

Shecky and Rebecca Wisenheimer awoke in their new Chatsworth home to the cheerful fragrance of fresh flowers and the sound of a distant train chugging along the track. “This ain’t exactly Folsom Prison” Shecky grinned as he handed his wife a tulip he had plucked from the Welcome Wagon basket which magically appeared on their front porch. The move from their Encino home of fifteen years was overdue. “The kids were grown and incarcerated. Who needed the extra rooms?” Shecky shrugged. Among those welcoming the Wisenheimer’s to their new neighborhood was Scheky’s mother Rose. “I’m gonna put a padlock on the icebox,"she said. “Look at that tuckas, will ya? He didn’t get that using the Stairmaster.” Shecky waved his mother off. “Living closer to her will be wonderful, but I gotta be honest, the money didn’t hurt. What’s not to like about $400,000 tax free semolions?” The Wisenheimers wish to thank Evan Williams for making the sales and moving process completely painless.

We have received these anecdotal fairytales before and suspect they are pure fiction, a product of the real estate conspiracy to dupe the American public. Besides, if true, the Wisenheimer's are in for a rough ride. Fires, earthquakes, landslides, the Manson Family legacy of depravity and a paucity of fine dining await them. Go to hell, Scheky!

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