Thursday, December 01, 2005

Bubble Blogger Mutual Funds?

Some of Wall Street's leading equity fund managers, including Vanguard, T.Rowe Price, and the American family of funds, have introduced a product which is designed to capitalize on the anticipated spending of millions of housing bubble bloggers who are growing increasingly impatient, anxious and desperate as their predicted crash in housing prices does not happen. The funds are known as Real Estate Anxiety Matrix (REAM) funds, and typically contain a diverse basket of equities which have been hammered by consumer optimism but are likely to rise on bubble blogger angst. Of course, we like the J.Mehoff Income-Inequity REAM . Among the top holdings of the Mehoff fund: Roche Laboratories (Valium), Eli-Lilly (Prozac), Astra-Zeneca (Prilosec), Johnson & Johnson (KY personal lubricant), Old Crow Distilleries (Old Crow), Home Depot (ladders, ropes), Gillette (single edged razor), Pep Boys (anti-freeze), Forest Lawn (real estate).

The Mehoff fund is a bit pricey, with a front end load of between 5% and 50%, depending on where you live.

THIS OFFERING INVOLVES SIGNIFICANT RISK. PLEASE READ THE ENTIRE PROSPECTUS BEFORE INVESTING. YOU MAY LOSE SOME OR ALL OF YOUR MONEY. IN FACT YOU MAY EVEN LOSE YOUR NEIGHBOR'S MONEY. BUT HEY, THAT'S WHAT YOU REALLY WANT ANYWAY, RIGHT?

5 Comments:

At 7:31 AM, Blogger Rob Dawg said...

Does your brokerage house offer no money down 103% margins like the home mortgage industry? If not why not? Perhaps because it isn't fiscally sound? Well yeah but that shouldn't stop you. Oh wait, here it is. Your I-I REAM doesn't allow people to play exclusively with other peoples' money because it is illegal and endangers the entire economy! Indeed margin accounts require 50% down.

Shades of "The Onion."

 
At 8:29 AM, Blogger John Doe said...

Ha Ha. This was a good poke at us bubble sitters.

Your sense of humor seems to only have one track, though. Unless you branch out from this anti-housing bubble thing, this will get old for you really soon.

Why not do some kind of faux expose on how real-estate agents are really working in their clients' best interest, or one where refinancing companies only accept well qualified applications and own the paper they generate. That would be really great. You could interview some people from the industry that are talking about how interest rates are going down or something.

Good luck.

 
At 9:32 AM, Blogger jack mehoff said...

Thanks for your remarks. Nobody is immune from the Mehoff, including realtors, lenders or free lance plagerists residing in northern Arizona. With a few exceptions. Mr. Cote is hereby granted permanent immunity due to his extraordinary valor under fire. And Mr. Doe, you are granted immunity as the signator of my alimony agreement.

 
At 1:07 PM, Blogger John Doe said...

Thanks, Jack.

One thing I noticed about Someone in Northern Arizona AKA Boy Everybody Never Jokes Over but Nobody Ever Says is that I thought he was a real estate agent. when I started my Blog back in March 05, I distinctly remember his profile saying that he was a real estate agent. Anyone else notice that?

That's okay, though because I have moved from Northern Los Angeles (Expensive) to San Diego (Unbelievably Expensive) to Orange County (Ludicrously Expensive) in the past year all while touting that SoCal real estate is in a threatening bubble.

I'm learning to laugh at myself more often. It's pretty comical.

 
At 1:21 PM, Blogger Rob Dawg said...

Mr. Cote is hereby granted permanent immunity due to his extraordinary valor under fire.

Don't be so fast or so generous. An appearance of certitude could be either a depth of ability OR a shallowness of person. I doubt you are even close to granting me "depth of ability" even if you are beginnig to understand I'm not all that shallow.

The bubblers are probably going to be -eventually- right but deserve no credit unless they they are exactly right and only once for one prediction. Haven't seen that yet. Likewise all the new paradigmers aren't even close to substantiation that this time it's different.

Everyone is mislead by technical indicators. The bubblers say "with low inflation and low rents" the only solution is a price correction. They ignore that inflation can rise including rents just as easily.

The children of the new paradigm likewise ignore the unprecedented velocity of money.

The market turn is going to be a head chop and gradual slide. Big deal. We are never going to overcorrect, too late for that but return to slightly subpar apprecitaion to historical norms? Yeah.

 

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